Oh god.  I think I’m having the stereotypical “India Experience” that I thought was far too cliche to happen to me.

I’m sitting here at a tiny breakfast joint/pharmacy (yes, the same place) and all these old India hands just ran into each other.  They hadn’t seen each other in eight years, but they remember each other, and kept talking about how you “always run into people back in India, because nobody ever stays away for more than 10 years.”  It’s crazy, but I would imagine it’s true.  Before this happened, I was already planning what my next trip to India would be.  More beaches?  Kashmir  Assam?

Over the past few days, with Scott gone and nothing to do but sit around and read, write, and reflect, I have come to some interesting conclusions which no other trip I’ve taken have really led me to.

The first is that I worry too much.  Way too much.  I guess I’ve always been a planner, and have been quite focused on trying to anticipate and prevent problems before they come up.  Just last night, I found myself worrying about the fact that my landlord still hasn’t cashed my rent check, and that I am moving soon and have nobody to help me, nor any place to put all my furniture.  And then I realized that I was just wasting my time.  I’ll find someone to help me move.  Storage spaces aren’t difficult to find, I can probably rent one online without even visiting it first.  Plus, I’m realizing there is a whole nother side of positives to the decisions I am making.

I’ve been stressed about moving in with Scott, since I’ve gotten quite used to having my own place, but it’s suddenly setting in that I won’t have to stress about my landlord or anything like that for the next few months.  Considering all the work and short trips to visit schools and whatnot I have coming up in the next few months, that bit of freedom will be exceptional.

Yesterday I worked out for the first time in ages.  It probably wasn’t an ideal setting, being that it’s about 95 degrees and humid, and my shoulders are sunburnt from a mix of sun, sand, and doxycycline, but it feels exceptional.  I feel lame for neglecting my body just to work at school and, basically, have more time to worry about things like potential salaries and post graduation plans.

I think, for the first time in years, I am comfortable with where I am.  I have applied to a decent mix of schools.  I could easily have a job offer in Tokyo next year.  Ditto for Australia and New Zealand doing seasonal work, which I’m sure I could spin into a research paper for some trust and a travel article for a newspaper somewhere to get by.  Realistically, I have a lot of great options… and I should probably just be focused on how great my life is right now, as opposed to how to “ensure” that things go my way a year or two down the road.

I’ll still always be a planner.  I just think that, for the moment, I may be sufficiently prepared to lay off the accelerator for a bit, and just enjoy my last five months of undergraduate life.

This inner peace is pretty well timed, because the next five months will be a bit crazy, with trying to get some writing published, taking six classes plus lab, visiting the schools I’m accepted to, potentially going to Washington to interview for a job at the Japanese embassy, moving, scott’s sister’s wedding, possibly trying to visit my dad (another big question mark in and of itself) for the first time in 7 years, and… yeah, just enjoying life.

I am not becoming a slacker.  I’ve just gotten some much needed perspective about what I’m doing.  I plan ahead to ensure that my life stays good.  But if I’m not enjoying today because I’m busy with tomorrow, I’m completely missing the point.

And, for the first time in a while.  I’m completely happy.

Andrew